20 Mar. 2019
Back when I was in high school, a somewhat country gal used to flirt with me a bit. A surprise slap on the butt. A cute glance. But on balance, it sort of seemed to me that she was into flirting more than she was into me, and after I got done with university out-of-state, I learned that she had become a cat-lady.
Now, we’ve all been aware of the stereotype of the elderly cat lady. (The Simpsons cartoon is known for its comically exaggerated portrayal.) For a while, my grandmother could have loosely been considered a cat-lady, having a cat or two from time to time, but she wasn’t obsessed with them, nor crazy. But the phenomenon of the young cat lady was not something that struck my mind as a classic trope. Given the internet sensation that cats have become, however, in retrospect, maybe it shouldn’t be so surprising.
So, what did I find in the late 2010s on online dating sites? Plenty of cat-ladies in their 20s (and, depending on what you would consider as a cat-lady, occasionally even younger). There was even one who essentially stated that she would be willing to do just about anything if only she could keep her cats.
But here are some other comments posted by women in their 20s on OKCupid that I have found. Now, most of them were rather inviting, like, “I like dogs and cats and kids. Maybe I’ll like you too.” But when, like me, one is allergic to cat dander, it really makes little difference. “I highly value my cat. This is not a euphemism,” another stated. Good to know. You might make a good friend, but certainly not someone I could live with. Ditto with those who simply check the box for “has cats.” I’ve come across enough folks in life to know that if a dog is a boy’s best friend, a cat is a girl’s best friend.
Now, some of the ladies list their cat or pets (which happen to include cats) under their list of “Six Things I Could Never Do Without,” one writing, “My cat. He’s soft and good and I love him.” Still more include their cat or cats in their own photographs that they post of themselves. One of them typed underneath, “I have cats and hamsters right now and live with dogs. I used to have rats and will 110% have them again. I stop on the side of highways to catch a cat.” Instant pass from me. I’ve had Chinese dwarf hamsters before (very cute). But the cats are to die for, literally in my case.
Now, if these women are being generally honest with what they state about their own viewpoints and habits, every once in a while, I stumble upon someone who would be compatible rather well with me, but then, alas, the cats! It seems like about 1 in 3 young ladies either have them already or really want them as pets. That makes my task a lot more difficult to find a suitable life-partner. For a few of the quality men, ladies, it may be your cat keeping them away from you: a few of us are allergic.
In short, what I have found is that those who are most compatible with me on other major issues either love their cat(s) or live a long ways away from me. Should I drive 50 to 70 miles one-way for a date? Wouldn’t that get rather expensive and time-consuming, discouraging me from having the amount of interaction that the woman in the relationship would desire?
Just in case anyone would tell me something like “just go out and date without using dating websites,” well, there’s not a whole lot I can do about that that I would be comfortable with, there’s not really any young female coworkers, and I don’t get out as much as I used to.
Then there’s everything that takes out quite a bit of time already, like the projects I desire to finish and my own mother who wants me to drive her places now that she is getting elderly herself and doesn’t trust strangers.
In the end, it’s rather depressing.
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